Michael (F)assbender’s Penis Problem

And it’s a big one. Turns out, the Sexiest Man Below the Waist would like everyone to get over their Hamm-size obsession with his material matters. And, yes, it’s sexist too.

Fassbender tells Elle UK:

“It wouldn’t be acceptable, it would be seen as sexual harassment, people saying [to an actress], Your vagina … You know? … I’m insecure, of course I am. But that was just a matter of me going, OK and just getting naked … I’ve never really thought of myself as good looking. I think of myself as, you know, alright … I used to have bad acne as a teenager, so all of this is a bonus now, the fact that I don’t have pimples any more…And my hair was also, you know, unfortunate. I had really long hair. I mean, I tied it back most of the time, but I had all these frizzy bits coming off the top.”

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Fair enough, Michael. But when gorgeous girls strip down to their T&A&V’s, men usually comment. And when they’re naked a LOT, people comment more.

‘Shame’ On Us: Watch and wait… he turns around.

There’s no Shame in that, M’ass. We love you.

And a word of advice to readers: If you see 12 Years a Slave and are not sure it’s Michael Fassbender on screen, just wait until the camera pans down and shows his trousers. You will recognize him immediately.

You are welcome!