Most single gay men have, at some point, launched an online dating profile.
Many years ago meeting a potential partner would be either through friends, at a bar, or pre-Internet newspaper personals ads. Cruising guys in the gym and known gay hotspots were still popular, however fraught with anxiety for the less-confident guy.
Things have moved on. Now, every gay man with a computer or even a smart phone has a profile. We now have the Star Trek-inspired applications where you can identify a gay life form within close proximity. Admittedly, when in a gay bar it’s not necessarily required, however GuySpy and GRINDR apps are handy for locating that eye candy you’ve had an online flirtation with. These applications can be immensely useful when you’re out in an unfamiliar area and have a sexual itch.
In dating workshops and coaching sessions I always ask clients to ask themselves the question, “What do you want?” Do you want a forever partner to enjoy antiquing and long Sunday brunches with? Or do you want casual sex and to just fill up a weekend with some hot guy for no strings fun? There are dating sites that cater to both; a casual sex encounter and others to find you a husband. Pick the one you want appropriately; if you pick the wrong one your batting average will greatly diminish.
Both are both valid choices for dating profiles, but it’s best to work out which avenue you want to go down. This ensures no confusion or heartbreak.
So make sure the profile you write says what you want, and represents you in the best way possible. No matter what you are looking for, my top five tips are:
- Make sure you use a recent (within the last few months) picture. In this digital media age, if someone claims they don’t have a recent pic, they are lying. There is little point in placing an elderly photo of you in Speedos when the design was the genuine fashion choice and not a vintage remake! The more pictures you place on your profile the more visitors you will get. Make sure they represent each facet of your personality. If you enjoy sailing show a photo of you in a boat. If you insist on taking that dreary statutory picture with a camera phone in the bathroom mirror, make sure the mirror and bathroom is clean. The first impression of you in front of an un-flushed floating log in the bowl is not going to leave a positive lasting impression, so flush before you pose!
- Be original. Look at other profiles and get inspired, but don’t just cut and paste. Be unique and memorable. If you don’t put any consideration into it, then how can you expect people to be interested enough to contact you and get to know you more? You don’t have to be a Pulitzer-prize winning author, but make it more than a shopping list (job, car, abs, large…). This is more for a relationship dating profile: Pure sex-driven profiles are focused on images, and basic body statistics, measurements and descriptions.
- Don’t launch into a long monologue of what you dislike. Who wants to read that? Focus on your positive points; this is your strength. If you are unsure what they are, then ask your friends how they would best describe you, with your top five positives. List down a few personality traits rather than just “I look hot,” “I’m slim,” and “I’m great in the sack” (these are fine for the sex-encounters profile).
- Be honest. You can package up being slightly overweight by saying stocky and chunky build, but if you require a construction crew to cut you out of your house to attend a date it’s best not to gloss over such things (saving you the construction-fee costs too!).
- If you’re looking for just a quick sex encounter then displaying your man meat for all to see is fine, as is posting pictures of you enjoying other men. If you are husband hunting then think what pictures you would feel comfortable having your future mother-in-law seeing. That’ll be a good guideline to decide what images you should use.
Online dating is the primary source of getting to meet new guys. When you go out onto the world wide web make sure you are maximising every opportunity. Your next date might just be a mouse click away.